Saturday, November 27, 2010

Oh My, Christmas is Coming!

Christmas is coming and I'll not be getting fat
Would you please put a fifty in my Christmas hat?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Olive the Dog/God

Olive the dog is a little goddess. She makes me laugh and that is hardly ever easy! She keeps my feet warm at night, buries treats under my pillow, loves apples, and her ears fly up when she runs. Chasing a stick around in the backyard is pure joy. Rediscovering the magic of simple pleasures and unconditional love.Thank you.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Senate Is No Place For Old Men

I can't apologize for my feelings on this. I watch political coverage on various channels, and online, and it seems that all I can focus on are these ridiculous old men in congress saying ridiculous things, sometimes about ridiculous issues. Don't they know they are spent and should get out NOW? Don't they realize that people look at them in amazement and can't believe they are still in these positions of power? Don't they know that they are done being important and should pave the way for younger, smarter, more energetic people? People with a conscience.Old men in congress, you are pathetic. Sorry, but you are very pathetic and I am embarrassed for you. Slip away quietly. Please!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

My Studio is a Mess!

We're all scientists, experimenting in the laboratory of life according to today's horoscope. . . I think I can agree with that. However, the quality of the space, the lab, the studio counts for a lot. One can't be productive in an unorganized space. So, today is organization day. Also preparing for the community yard sale October 2nd. Time to go minimalist, again! What state of organization is your space in? Hmmmmm??

Monday, September 13, 2010

First Painting Ever

This is a terrible photo of the first painting I ever did, at Governor's School for the Arts, in 1973. I'm posting this because every time I look at it, it reminds me of 9/11 in New York City.

I watched some 9/11 television on Saturday 9/11 and one of the shows was a collection of raw videos people had taken that day, from all sorts of perspectives. I don't understand how the country pulled together so much after that, and then fell apart again. Of course, I can list 1,000 things that should have happened in the country, that the President and whoever did not do but that is neither here nor there now. What is most sad to me about this? That race relations in America haven't improved much since then. I think ethnic backgrounds and religions are taking a stance in their corners getting ready to fight.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Left Hand Could Be Right

Time to get back to making some serious, fun, wacky, awesome art. Now that I am in the Teaching Artist groove again, I am anxious to jump into the personal creative process. Will hopefully have an exhibition next June or July if I make the right connection. Sweet.

Pre-K training was today. We were asked to draw a picture with our non-dominant hand. A challenge to be sure, but extremely fun. It actually opened up a "willing to be creative today" channel. Try it. Try writing your name first, and then draw a picture of anything you see in front of you. You will be creating a piece that is more honest, more expressive and quite amusing. I think I'm onto something here.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Just A Quick Look Before and After

My high school yearbook just appeared on David's FB page. Here I am -- dorky as ever anyone could be. I was a nice, quiet, smart dork though. I hid in the art room for 4 years. I made posters for the drama productions. Then I graduated. 
Life has certainly brought me some changes. Some galactically incredible and full of love, some confusing, some not so bad after all and some extremely stinky. So be it.  Onward and upward.
I had one boyfriend for a few months in 7th grade. This is not a picture of him. It was named Steven. (Since then everyone I've known named Steven also turned out to be a mess) Then he dated my sister. So much for that! There was a boy I was in love with from 2nd grade on. This is his picture. I was sexually stupid, socially stupid, and never did a thing about it, except go to his house after school sometimes. Lame. Really lame. I don't think he ever really liked me at all, but I did bring him stuff from the bakery that I worked at. Maybe it was the chocolate chip cookies that allowed him to tolerate me. Anyway, I know he has a life, and kids, and me too. He still appears in my dreams though. You know who you are . . .

A handful of people have passed away already.
he times they are a changin' . . .  Peace.

Friday, September 03, 2010

Divine Redesign

The leaves are changing rapidly now, and some have already fallen. I will miss Summer even though it was hellishly hot and humid. My garden was a challenge this year, trying to keep it moist and fed in the heat. Vegetable production was modest, however, the cucumbers were indeed prolific. Not enough recipes in the world to use so many! Never did have any cool nights to use the fire pot. We did create a fire pit out in the yard - waiting anxiously for a cool night to break it in. Fall is coming, finally.

Being very careful to reject the the primal hibernation preparedness syndrome I always get this time of year. It often brings a deep sadness, a quest for food, weight gain, lethargy and isolation. As much as I honor these primal instincts, it is bad for me. Decided to reorganize my bedroom to assuage the nesting instinct. This is good. Divine redesign.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

It Did Not Go So Well

I got stalled on the cleaning thing. I hate when that happens. I really want to switch to the fall/winter clothes and I am stalled because today is around 95 degrees outside. Will overload with caffeine and start up again tonight. I have been watching the HOARDER shows on TLC and DHC and that scares me into getting organized. Junk mail that I have been saving to cut up for artwork -- must die. Thank God I only own 5 pairs of shoes. . .
I have attempted to go minimalist over the past few years, and it worked for the most part. However, since then I have started to accumulate stuff to make art (found objects and images) and have no place to store them. I need a studio! 

Monday, August 23, 2010

Karmic Cleaning

It is the time of year for me to get my life back in order so the next wonderful can take its course. This means cleaning! Washing the floors, window sills and windows and everything else that needs it. The dust balls must come out of the corners, the books must stand up again, the clothes need to be put away in the drawers. The extension cords need to get under control, the junk mail thrown away, the art supplies put on the shelf, the pencils sharpened, the ashtrays washed, the angel altar rededicated. For me, this activity is always inspiring. It opens the windows to more good energy, good deeds, good people in my life, and a huge sense of I can. Accomplishment of small things allow incredible life flow.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

So . . . Here I Go

From the email I got from Kim about attending teachers orientation starting Monday, it looks like I will be teaching at Christina Cultural Arts Center this fall! 

Out of the blue . . .  I have always known that change comes from unexpected directions. And here it is. Now, to retrain my brain back into artist and teacher mode. Yikes. I also know that the universe does not give us things we can't handle. So . . . Here I go.

Monday, August 09, 2010

For Liz and Pepper

May your hearts be linked together in love forever. Unconditional love is the purest love and we work hard to succeed in accomplishing this within our family all our lives. I believe it soars far more easily and bountifully between pets and their people. It is so hard to lose a fur friend and we know they will never be replaced. Here's to Pepper who was full of spice and had sparkling eyes. She was the queen of her household. Pepper, there is a special place for you at the Rainbow Bridge and you mom will meet you there. Say hello to Nemo for me and give him a hug from me.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Maybe It Is My Time

I got a phone call this morning from Kim at Christina Cultural Arts Center. She asked if I wanted to be considered for teaching positions coming up this fall. This proves the theory that change comes from unexpected directions. Of course, I said yes. I should hear from her again by the end of the week. This could be excellent. It does mean getting back into learning and teaching mode, which I've been out of for quite a while now. I will take the plunge. Maybe making art over the past 2 years has led me to this path. We shall see . . .

Monday, August 02, 2010

For Dearest Catherine

This post is dedicated to my dear friend Catherine, whose husband is struggling with brain tumors. Her life has changed dramatically, and she no longer has the husband she married, but a man turning into a child who can't do things for himself anymore. He can't eat with a fork. This is so sad, and just an indicator of what is to come. His treatments are over, and now it is just a matter of time. So sad. I thank God every minute of the day that I have been spared from this kind of sadness, so far. It was different with my mother. It was more clinical than emotional. This is so different. God, please give Catherine all the strength she needs to get through this with Tim. Please give her a guardian angel to take care of her. Amen.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Computer Issue Solved

Well, it only took me 3 days and 55 restarts to figure out that it was the mouse making the cursor scroll all over and snap across the screen. God I miss the days when I was really smart. Miracles happen - I finally got my Delaware tax refund and spent twenty bucks on a new mini wireless mouse. Life is soooo much better. My anxiety lever was stuck on high.

Monday, July 26, 2010

My Computer Is Infested

The mouse keeps doing crazy things all over the screen. The cursor is jumping, and it scrolls through everything. I have weird email addresses in my google contacts list. Mostly chinese. Please, universe, fix this. I can't afford a new laptop yet. Thanks.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Here's the Buzz Part Two

I will not be adopting Buzz. Aching heart. Ouch. Can't talk about it yet. Maybe will look for a smaller dog while in RI. Home is where the heart is. But if the hearts don't agree, there is chaos times three.

May Her Guardian Angel Protect Her

Two days until we move Ariel up to RI. Bob said he's in denial. I might be, but I am so excited for her. I've been helping pack, and nagging about lists, and I even got to suck the air out of two space bags. I think it is quite different for fathers and daughters. There's something there that I can't describe, but everyone seems to know it is there. Mothers and daughters, on the other hand, are connected with this amazing golden heart string that will never disappear even if you want it to. Ariel knows that I am always there, beside her in spirit, a phone call away, a text away, a skype away and I would drive up in 5 hours if she needed me. I know she is going to have some lonely, dark hours after settling in when she begins to miss Sean and starts thinking about "home" things. However, she is committed to building her career and knows it will give her a fabulous life. She is doing it for all the other women who didn't. I'd give almost anything to be in my 20's and starting a new chapter. Well, that's a foolish thought but I can dream for a moment, can't I? We will have so many things to do to get her settled in. Curtains, a BJ's run, grocery shopping . . .  it's going to be great. I'm going to feel great being a part of it. I might even draw a picture on her wall before I leave.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Here's the Buzz

Buzz, the dog, is joining our family soon! Our application was approved today. He is a rescue dog, currently at Jerry's Rescues in Tennessee. He is about 8 years old, and part Giant Schnauzer and part German Shepherd. Imagine that. He reminds me so much of Nemo - especially the eyebrows and the white around his face and the white on his chest. Bed, brush, bowls, treats, toys here we come. I have been looking to rescue a little dog for a while now, but either couldn't find one that was available - they get adopted rather quickly - or I couldn't afford the hundreds of dollars adoption fee. Buzz is at a shelter that has to close their doors. I don't even remember how I found him among the zillions of dogs on, but there he was. Tugged at my heartstrings. So, they've sped up the process a bit to get all their dogs into foster or new homes, and reduced the fees, including the cost of transporting him. Buzz will be arriving in Allentown, PA (about an hour and a half from us)  the last weekend in July! They use the same dog transport service that they use on the Animal Planet Show "Last Chance Highway." I am so excited to think that I will be with a group of people who are awaiting delivery of their new buddies. So, now, the wait begins. 

In the meantime, I will be going up to RI with Ariel the week after next to help her move into her new apartment and do all the mom things to help her settle in and feel empowered, safe and ready for this next chapter of her life. My daughter the Executive Director. So cool. Makes me think I did some things right as a parent. Whew. We are all having new chapters - Dane is still planning to go to school this fall, although the process of making it all come together is an arduous one. Applications, courses, loans, etc. Yikes. May the education gods be with us. It may be delayed until the spring term, but it will happen. Stay tuned.

The Garden

The garden is wilting daily in the heat. 100 degrees is feeling a little like insanity. Trying to keep things watered, but the tomatoes seem to be on hold, and not ripening. The cucumbers are growing like mad! Cucumber salad for the weekend!! Picked the first yellow squash today and sauteed it with onions and garlic for dinner. Fabulous.The basil, parsley and oregano are thriving. So is the mint. Hooray for gardens!

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Me and Fine Art America

Okay, so today I splurged with a bit of my tax return money that I finally got back after some minor brawling with IRS about owing them from last year. (I tried to pay it several times and it just didn't make it through the system.) Anyway, so here I am posting my artwork on a site that prints, frames, ships, processes payments, etc. Let's give it a go. Have everything to gain and just a few tuppence to lose. But they promised me I would sell stuff. Really! Okay! Ready, set, go.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Tiime For An Update

So, Ariel has taken a fabulous new job in Rhode Island, and will be moving away in mid-July. This is a landmark moment for me. I am so proud of her, and extremely happy for her and the job she has been working towards. But I will be sad that she won't be dropping in for dinner anymore, or going shopping with me, or just being part of my daily life. I am also happy that she has friends and family there, and the support when she needs it.The tides are turning, and it is time for different things. It is time to get Dane into college and help him launch his life now. It is time for me to find something to occupy my time outside the house. I would certainly work if I could find a job, but perhaps I will find a place to volunteer. I'm thinking the local humane society.

My garden is thriving. Tomatoes, cucumbers, yellow squash, oregano, parsley, cilantro and pumpkins. It keeps me busy each day, and I have an assortment of flowers to cut. I always feel rich, safe and blessed when I place a vase of flowers on the table.

I made it through another deep depression. I felt so paralyzed. Fed up with the concept of job hunting and competing with a younger world. I did a lot of sleeping. I did an art show in the middle of it, and I just wasn't there with it. Sometimes I think my days of making art are over. Other days I think I should be filling my time making art. It's a struggle. Always has been. So many friends have told me I should go back to school. This thought also paralyzes me. Aside from the frightening thought of more debt, I shudder to think how hard it could be trying to find a job four years from now. By the time I finish a bachelors degree, I will need a masters degree. I guess I should explore more about why this paralyzes me.

There is a reason for everything. Sometimes we never understand the reasons things happen. Sometimes we do. In this case, about this point in my life with no job anchor, I shall keep trying.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Crazy Dilemma # 2,357

Should I rev up my job search and risk losing food stamps ($200 a month) and medicaid (everything is 100% covered) and my tiny unemployment check so I can earn actual cash and help the household survive? If I get a job, I get cash flow, but I also risk not getting medical benefits at all. What a crazy world this is where it's actually more beneficial in many ways to be unemployed. . . Would someone please fix this? God, give me double wisdom, please.The right answer is, find a job - and fast. After all, I have been negligent in paying my share - the rent I agreed to pay when I moved back here. It's not fair to Bob and Dane. So, here I go. God, please give me double the amount of wisdom you usually give out at times like these.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Mentally Homeless

Not really. In searching domain names for a potential website, I started typing random words. I discovered that is available. . . .now, that has possibilities, doesn't it? What I am actually working on is a website where I can sell my art. But, I won't do anything until I talk to my friend Jim, who offered to guide me through the process. Maybe I don't really need one. Maybe I should just go to and do it there. That's what Valerie suggested. Two years ago. Did I do it yet?? Ummmm, no. What am I waiting for? This opens up the conversation about fear of success. Inability to produce. That's what happened with the little business Christal and I set up = The Bag Ladies. We did shopping bags made from recycled T-shirts and they were awesome. We sold a ton of them at the few art fests we did. What did I do about this? I freaked out internally because I couldn't imagine myself cutting and decorating T-shirt bags for the rest of my life if we were successful. Christal mentioned to me on the phone today how sad she was that we let it go. This was almost two years ago and we were ahead of the curve. Recycled shopping bags were just becoming a thing. God, I hate myself sometimes.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I Miss Nemo

It's hard to believe it has been three years since Nemo left us peacefully in his sleep. Maybe it is only two. I really miss having a dog in the house. The unconditional love and loyalty. The hug-ability. I am thinking about getting another dog, perhaps a little one that would be easy to snuggle with. Thinking about affording it. My goodness it astounds me how much money is a tool for living everyday life.

Time has taken on a weirdness to it recently. Having been inside the house for most of the time between December 7th and now, my connections with the outside world, people, places and time have faded. It scares me, and makes me think that I need to get up, out and moving towards something soon. Anything!

I will have to think about this, however, since I have just qualified for medicaid, food stamps and unemployment. This doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment until you take a measurement of the red tape it took to qualify. It makes me lean towards understanding why people want to stay in the system, and not look for a minimum wage job that would disqualify you from holding on to these benefits. Yikes. Listen to me. Yikes.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

I Need a Financial Miracle

I know God doesn't deal in used cars, new shoes that are the right size, plumbing, employment or bottomless coffee jars. And I know he isn't a bank. However, I need just one moment indicating financial recovery. My tax refund doesn't count. I shouldn't apologize for this, but I do believe in miracles.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What Now What Now What Now

So, do I need a permit to sell stuff on the streets of Wilmington? I have too many paintings hanging around, and would love to sell them off for about $25 each. I don't have enough pencils to sell, believe it or not. I can't afford a website domain or the cost of online credit card processing to sell paintings, and I doubt very much if that could be successful these days. Some kind of catchy name that says Art for $25 --- ??? I suppose I could do paypal when I finally get a domain. Money Stinks. I have spent so many years trying to make friends with it. I don't have a job, I haven't yet been approved for unemployment, job prospects are so weird. I'm not a nurse or a truck driver, so it is looking like a long, hard run. I am still so very angry at the Inn at Wilmington for terminating me for having hip surgery. I just don't understand how cruel people can be. I probably never will understand that. The good news is that my hip is recovering nicely and I am almost walking without a cane. Onward and upward.