Friday, July 02, 2010
My garden is thriving. Tomatoes, cucumbers, yellow squash, oregano, parsley, cilantro and pumpkins. It keeps me busy each day, and I have an assortment of flowers to cut. I always feel rich, safe and blessed when I place a vase of flowers on the table.
I made it through another deep depression. I felt so paralyzed. Fed up with the concept of job hunting and competing with a younger world. I did a lot of sleeping. I did an art show in the middle of it, and I just wasn't there with it. Sometimes I think my days of making art are over. Other days I think I should be filling my time making art. It's a struggle. Always has been. So many friends have told me I should go back to school. This thought also paralyzes me. Aside from the frightening thought of more debt, I shudder to think how hard it could be trying to find a job four years from now. By the time I finish a bachelors degree, I will need a masters degree. I guess I should explore more about why this paralyzes me.
There is a reason for everything. Sometimes we never understand the reasons things happen. Sometimes we do. In this case, about this point in my life with no job anchor, I shall keep trying.