Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Time To Collect Some Good Stuff

So, today was the day I told Bob I was leaving on Friday. The conversation then filled up with all the reasons I will fail and never find any other happiness than what is here. Added to that , the reasons I am such an unhappy person. Added to that, how horrible and dysfunctional the family I am going to stay with is. Added to that, how horrible the world is and there is no hope. Added to that, how important it is for people to stay together and work things out.

So, where was the carrot here? What was the outcome supposed to be? What was I supposed to say next? "Okay, I'll stay. You are right. I am a blob of ridiculous, female fantasy." Essentially, I surrendered. "I can't have this conversation," I said. "I have nothing to tell you. Yes, I am unhappy. Yes, I am probably fantasizing. Yes, I can't tell you what I want because it wouldn't make sense to you. Yes, I understand that the world is a horrible place now and everyone should just stay put." Yikes.

So, I've decided to gather some good things people have said to me. Encouraging, kind and wonderful things that make me think I am not an ugly troll under a collapsing bridge. My friend Sherman wrote this in an email this morning:

"Hi Roberta, I saw/read your blog last night just before I went to bed and I had to write you to tell you I am impressed. I always knew you were special, and I was right. Pretty as a picture and tough as nails. As unsure as you may be about your plight and future, I am confident you’ll persevere, prevail, and succeed in whatever you decide to pursue. You are the true definition of the term “Renaissance Woman”. I am honored to be able to call you my friend."
Thanks, Sherman, for seeing me through a sad day.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for standing behind me and pushing hard, reminding me that I am a viable person and helping me to keep flying forward!!! You are the best.

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