Ten Things I Would Take With Me

I've started the list of the 10 things I would take with me. Clothing, hygiene stuff, medicine and my studio stuff don't count. This was launched from a discussion that Valerie and I had about the 10 things you would want in your bag if you had to become a bag lady. That discussion was launched from my idea about having an artist/architect competition to design a cart for homeless people; it would want to include a sleeping place, storage, maybe an awning, maybe a place for cooking, etc. Then I would seek a foundation/corporate grant for creating them. Then I would pass them out to homeless people who needed them.

Anyway. I expected to hear from Birmingham Museum of Art by now. I have had a gut feeling that they are going to defer to their in-house candidate. . . we shall see. Primarily I think it's because I don't have a Masters degree, and I'm a yankee from New England.

How do you know when you've hit rock bottom? Is there a rock bottom?

Eddie

I tried to call my friend Eddie tonight, who is dying of pancreatic cancer. There was no answer. I have a gut feeling that he is in the hopspital tonight. Sadness just keeps coming.

Rumblings

I can feel the rumblings . . . all the bad stuff is piling up . . . there's an explosion coming. Bob has been looking for Armagedon in the world around him. Little does he know that it's probably going to happen on the homefront. Among other things, my RI sister called me and screamed at me about why the hell would I move to Alabama . . . I should come home and let her help me rebuild my life . . . that my children are out of control - she almost called the police on my son . . . that my husband is an idiot. . . all a result of my mother's "report" after her holiday visit. Is is not great to have such a supportive family?! Whoa. Just wrap a plastic bag on my head right now.

Ariel's friend Sean has moved in, having had an incident with his parents. Bob is all askew about this. Dane seems to be in self-destruct mode. I have been job hunting to the point of tears. I now think BMA is going to defer to their in-house candidate, and this would be fine. CCAC project is slow and paychecks few. Finances have crashed. I am standing on the edge of the abyss, watching the molten lava bubbling up, feeling the rumblings . . .

Back to Preschool

Training day tomorrow for CCAC teachers. Only have 1.5 hours with them so it will have to be action packed. We will focus on implementing an "Art Work of the Month" in the classroom which will be the foundation for ongoing literacy activities. Kim also wants to talk to me about the newsletter idea. Anyway, I'm going to email the teachers right now, to see if anyone would like to bring in an artwork for sharing. Onward and upward!

Sweet Home Alabama?

My visit to Birmingham was fast and full. I have never been treated so well by a prospective employer. All my expenses were covered including a rental car for a day (Saturday) so I could explore housing options. The BMA is stellar - a real treasure. The staff was passionate and remarkable. The education staff is a group of unsung heroes . . . I usually know right away if a job is a fit for me, and I usually feel very strongly one way or another. This time, I am unsure. It would be change - which I've been looking for. I could definitely live in the area near the university- 5 Points or Avondale. Very hip, chic and rather inexpensive. Downtown Birmingham is dismal. Lots of gray buildings. I think I found the loft district, but there is not much of anything happening downtown. I expect to learn about their decision within the next two weeks. I am, of course, at a disadvantage because I don't have a Masters degree. It was listed as a requirement, but since I've gotten this far in the intrview process perhaps it isn't a disadvantage at all. I know of one other candidate - someone on staff in the education department, whom I did not meet for obvious reasons. I'm leaving this one to destiny.

I visited the Civil Rights Institute which was an amazing experience. I couldn't stop crying. It was painful, but I felt hopeful when it was over. So powerful. Lots of technology tells the story, but so do the school desks, the church pews, the jail cell, the bus . . . there were very few visitors there on Saturday morning. As a matter of fact, I could have stood in the middle of the street outside for 10 minutes before any cars came by . . . It was the quietest city I have ever seen. Almost eerie.

I'm Going to Birmingham!

Thursday night I will be winging my way to Birmingham for an interview on Friday! I will stay Friday night to explore the city on Saturday. Fab.

On another note:

I am not turning into my mother. I am my own self.

I am not turning into my mother. I am my own self.

I am not turning into my mother. I am my own self.

I am not turning into my mother. I am my own self.

I am not turning into my mother. I am my own self.

x 1,000

:-)

Calgon Take Me Away!

I am locked in a surreal experience and I can't get out. Mother is here. I am frightened. Sitting at the kitchen table, I suddely felt like I was inside her. I was sitting like her, breathing like her, smoking in the stame style and overthinking everything. She is hard of hearing which is starting to anger me. She refuses to get a hearing aid. She insults me in championship passive agressive mode. "You're not letting your hair grow long again, are you?" She tells my kids stories of the awful and embarrassing things I did as a child, never anything positive. She won't dial long distance from my phone because she insists she has calling cards with thousands of minutes, but can't remember the calling card numbers. They are at home in RI for safe keeping . . . Mother has been here since December 27.

However, there is hope. She carries 4 different wallets. I have one. She stashes money all over her purse. I keep mine in one place. She cuts everything out of the newspaper. I have never done this. She carries 3 years worth of calendars because she needs to keep the phone numbers she wrote in them. I have one calendar and a cell phone with all the numbers.

Calgon, please take me away. She leaves Wednesday morning.